Like every other woman I know, I have a list of men I admire & love. Men like Ryan Reynolds (killer smile & would be easy to introduce to mom), Simon Peg (comedic genius & adorable as a basket full of puppies), Ewan McGregor (suave, charmer, & knows his way around a light saber), and the inimitable James Spader. Ahhh, James! The man who plays eccentric characters, is wonderfully peculiar and the more he looses his hair the more I seem to love him!
My infatuation with James Spader began during my brief three year career as a movie extra. I was called to be on set at the University of Toronto with him for the movie called, The Pentagon Papers. Dressed in my best 1970's attire I sat in a large auditorium where I was playing a student that James' character, Daniel Ellsberg, goes on a heated rant in front of. Don't ask me what the speech was about, because I was too busy being memorized by his conviction and self-assured movements. My fascination with Mr. Spader continues today with Alan Shore, the compelling robust lawyer from Boston Legal, & the powerful super villain "Red" Reddington from The Black List. James himself admits during a number of interviews that he is drawn to the eccentric, that he is comfortable with discomfort & when he sees something strange or disturbing going on it the street, he is magnetically pulled towards it. What is it about the characters he chooses to play and his own quirks that have me so fanatical? It is simple...Confidence.
So often people use confidence as a character trait to describe someone. It is usually a compliment and a way of saying nothing gets in that persons way of achieving their goals. We all want to be that confident person because it has become an admirable thing to be.
But confidence isn't something we have or don't have. Why? Because...
- you can be confident in one area of your life but not other's.
- you can fake and over exaggerate confidence in how we talk about our lives.
- we all have our own personal definition of confidence, & confidence is to one person is "been there done that" to another.
So what is this confidence thing really all about?
I've discovered that confidence isn't a lone wolf, it is part of a pack that also includes, competence & courage. They are like the Three Amigos, the Hanson brothers (now just try to get Mmmbop out of your head), or how cookies should be eaten at one time, always in threes! No matter how I look at it, they are interlaced with each other:
- You have to have courage to be confident which forms competence.
- To be competent you need to have the confidence to be courageous.
- To be seen as confident you need to be competent and courageous.
What I love about this powerful pack of three is that they have one thing that makes achieving them all possible. When I do this ONE thing, I can achieve all three. That one thing is simply, taking action. Taking action is the fuel behind being all three of these musketeers:
- If I want to feel COMPETENT I need to DO something over & over.
- If I want to feel CONFIDENT I need to DO something over & over.
- If I want to have the COURAGE to change my life, I need to ACT.
It all comes down to being someone who recognizes that fear is just excitement in fancy shoes, can own their crazy and takes ACTION no matter what lies ahead of them!
James Spader's characters are all bold action takers and because of their fearlessness, each one of them owns this hat trick of greatness!
This is what I want to strive for each & every day; to be a woman of action, who then reaps the benefit of being confident, competent, & courageous.
Above all else... ACTION.