The Ketchup Killer Who Should of Paid Cash

This week my neighbour (let’s call her Jill) explained to me that sometimes a girl needs to do crazy things to get the attention of her significant other...and to keep life interesting!  

Jill took it upon herself to be the trickster in her marriage by going out of her way to keep her husband on his toes.  He became so accustomed to her antics that one day when he discovered her lying unconscious on the kitchen floor covered in blood, all he did was shake his head and inform her that the overwhelming smell of ketchup gave her away before he even walked in the room.  Clearly she needed to up her game!

And up her game she did when she became weary of her husband having a more involved relationship with sports on television than with her. 

One day, she casually dropped the 'fact' that she had gone out to tea with an old flame.  This instantly got his trousers in a twist and he began questioning the intentions of this former beau.  She told him not to be ridiculous and changed the topic of conversation. 

But what she was really doing was baiting him for the next step of her evil plan.  She decided to kick it up a notch by going to a florist, picking out a bouquet of beautiful flowers,  & making sure to pay extra for bows & wrapping to make them look supper special. She then topped it off by adding a card that read, "it was so nice catching up with you over tea yesterday, we will have to do it again some time".  The final piece of her dastardly plan was to have them delivered to her house when she wouldn't be home and her husband would have to accept them.

When she arrived home the day of the great delivery, he gruffly told her that some flowers arrived for her.  She innocently (yet devilishly) replied, "oh, how nice of you to buy me flowers".  He was quick to say they weren't from him and that he had just left them outside where they had been delivered.  After rescuing the flowers from the great outdoors, she read the card out loud for her husband to hear then casually sighed with appreciation saying, "now, well wasn't that nice". 

To put it mildly, her husband snapped.  

What happened next?  Jill said what the two weeks that followed was honeymoon bliss.  Her husband took her out on the town, bought her gifts and to her joy, the television wasn't even turned on to check the weather let alone the football scores.  Although I truly appreciate when an evil plan wins the day, I was curious as to why the wedded joy only lasted two weeks. 

Jill shook her head and said she had made a critical error when ordering the flowers… she didn’t pay cash.  She arrived home one day to her husband looking at her with amusement, holding floral bill that had just been delivered and said, “well, looks like the old boyfriend is also a cheap jerk”, the jig was up!

Truly... it was like listening to the script of a movie!

What did I learn from this captivating storyteller?

  • you always have the ability to make something happen when you put your mind to it
  • sometimes you just have to make your own fun!
  • life is worth laughing with and at!
  • never let anyone tell you that you have to settle for what is just in front of you
  • there is no need to take life too seriously
  • if I am going to fake my death, avoid using ketchup!

Jill has had her fair share of challenges and bullets to dodge in life yet, I have never heard a negative word pass those trickster lips of hers.  She is fearless when it comes to enjoying life, she sees joy everywhere, and she isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty to keep life interesting!