This meat and potatoes girl has a very sensitive palate which the simplest of spices can set on fire! That is why I was excited to discover a sweet little Indian restaurant near my house that makes samosas that I can actually handle. Don't get me wrong, I still need to soak them in the sweet sauce and sweat like I just ran a 10k while eating them, but I can actually enjoy them without giving up after one bite! It is quite the victory for me.
The other day I decided to bring some home for a shin-dig I was hosting at my place. As I attempted to balance the bag of yummy goodness on my already very full front car passenger seat, a little voice inside my head began to very loudly warn me: “you know that the moment you get out of the car and open this door they are going to be all over the floor, don't you?” But I did what we all normally do when this inner voice of wisdom attempts to help, I reassured her that there was no way that I would forget they were there, I had the situation under control. So I put them dangerously on the seat and motored home.
As always, the inner voice was right. I parked, toddled my way around my car (all the while admiring the fact that she was newly spankin’ clean), threw open the door & as the voice inside my head screamed, "but you said you would remember, DON'T OPEN IT", two samosas toppled out onto the ground (I was grateful only two of them escaped). I did attempt a mid-air winning rescue, but it was anything but successful.
The samosas officially went rouge and landed on the cement floor of my indoor parking garage.
The wee wise and wondrous inner voice shook her head at me and said those very powerful four words, “I told you so.” Yup, another win for intuition!
So then then question became… DO I STILL EAT THE SAMOSAS?
LETS LOOK AT THE FACTS:
- my underground parking garage was just power washed two days previous so the floors were ‘clean’... at least as clean as a parking garage floor can be!
- the two samosas were only on the ground for 3 seconds and therefore WELL within the limit of the 5 second rule (that glorious rule we invented to give ourselves permission to be gross once in a while!)
- Past camping trips have involved me eating much worse that has fallen on a much dirtier surface; but lets be honest, there are no rules when it comes to the wilderness!
- I eat unwashed grapes as I drive home from the grocery store… but of course once I am home it would just be gross if they weren’t clean first!
What I began to uncover was a series of rules that each included exceptions I attach to them when I want to get away with something... and I was only focusing on the rules I have attached to food! What other rules did I claim to have that I continue to bend and shape for my convenience? And more importantly, why do I feel I need to justify my actions?
- Do I make rules for myself because I feel it makes me a better person?
- Do I make exceptions for myself to feel better when I break them?
- Do I use rules and exceptions in order justify my actions to people around me to avoid judgement?
- Do I use rules to judge myself?
- Do I use rules to measure whether I should judge someone else or not?
WHO are these rules really for?
I do love my order, organization and having my ducks in a row (it is a twisted hobby of sorts), but a life where I have to tell people I have set rules I follow or need to justify my actions because they do not appear conventional in order to just fit in, well, that is not a game I'm willing to play.
Fitting in means:
- I am trying to be someone other than myself to be accepted.
- I care more about what you think of me than I think of myself.
- I’m not brave enough to explore my own path in life.
The truth is, I am just not interested in fitting in... I am okay being uniquely and wonderfully different. I want to serve the world by spreading joy, and there is no joy in exhausting myself trying to blend in and be carbon copy of anyone else.
So, yes, I will always have some quirky rules in my life that I will continue to bend and work for myself in any given moment, but they are there to discover more of who I am, not help me become more like anyone else.
And yes… I ATE THE SAMOAS!