About the Girl who Finally Let the Other Shoe Drop...


My name is Lori Rae & MY LIFE CHANGED at 2:00 am...

on a very frosty & wintry day where I found myself squatting over a Dixie cup in my mom's basement laundry room desperate to release my bladder from the insanity within. To be clear, the first choice was not the Dixie cup. I would much rather have been sitting on a true throne in the upstairs bathroom... alas, my parents were more into renovating the kitchen than worrying about me not being able to get through construction to use the facilities they were offering me free of charge!  So, as I stood there balancing in a half-crouched position, impressed by my own aim, I was struck with a terrifying thought...

 is this truly it?

I was a teacher, in search for my own home (not that living with mom and having all of my meals made and laundry done wasn't the best thing ever) and a serial-hobbyist who followed her curiosity wherever it dared to lead her. It took that little Dixie cup to make me realize that I needed a change and had a choice to make. But, it took me 12 years AFTER that moment to realize that I had made a choice...

and that choice was to settle.

It wasn't until I hit 40 that a bright light illuminated the fact that I had INDEED chosen to settle for my life.  Not that it wasn't a good life, but it wasn't great. It wasn't challenging and frankly, I wanted more.  But, I was stuck.  This word became my mantra. I stated it over and over and blaming anyone I could for the fact that I was in this position; the boss who didn't promote me, the friend who didn't appreciate me, anyone in my wake who didn't give me the approval I craved got the blame.  This was who I became - the girl who was stuck and no matter what she did, that is where she was destined to be.  So, I just accepted it. 

Then one day, my therapist decided to rip away my security blanket and leave me fully exposed to the great Canadian winds. She did it by saying four powerful words...

you are not stuck.  

What? How can that be?  But I AM stuck!  And as much as I tried to erase the words she had just tossed out into the room, I couldn't - not just because I couldn't turn back time, but because they were true.  My heart dropped.  This evil genius just called my bluff.  I wasn't stuck?  I left her office in a complete fog and feeling like I was walking around naked to the world (apologies world!).  It turns out,

I didn't need others to approve or appreciate me - that was my job.

And in owning that, I accepted that I was truly enough, and enough was enough. I was going to take action for myself and make my life bigger than even I knew it could be.




Lori Rae Tomlinson is an educator who has been counselling teenagers for 19 years in the areas of anxiety, depression, life goals and self-confidence.  She is a qualified guidance counselor, principal and teacher.

Within education, her focus has been on equity, social justice and mental health. She has attended numerous workshops and lead many initiatives, highlighting the importance of emotional well-being.

Lori Rae is also a Massage Therapist and believes in whole body wellness and care.  It was while massaging that she discovered that though people need to

heal physically, true healing also involves the mind and spirit. She has maintained this perspective throughout her professional journey. 

Lori Rae is a life coach who is passionate about helping women give themselves permission to get out of the goo and into a life they enjoy.  She believes no woman should ever feel stuck, believing they have no other choice than to settle for the life they have. She has made it her mission to encourage and empower women to transform their wishful thinking into attainable dreams! She wants women to create a life without limits and learn from her 40 years of holding that shoe tight!