My name is Lori Rae...

I’m a writer, speaker, and
I’ve loved cancer right out of me.

I knew that whatever emotions I attached to my cancer journey were the ones I would be left with in the end, and this plucky redhead was going to have a dance for joy, shake-what-my-mama-gave-me celebratory ending. So I got in touch with my inner hippie and decided that love is what I wanted to be left with after this unpredictable journey, so love was how I was going to remove my cancer.

It was deciding that my one and only job through the poking, prodding, drugging, being radioactive, and feeling stoned, was to be happy. Admitting that I needed to let that other shoe drop and treating the experience like eating an elephant, taking it one bite at a time.

Oddly enough, the real two by four to the head moment happened when I realized that even now, being cancer free,

it’s my choice to be happy.

My life BC, before cancer, involved desperately looking outside of myself to feel purposeful, appreciated, and worthy, assuming that if I could just force my square tushie in some round holes that happiness would be the reward. But as it turns out, the more I open my heart, and roll with whatever the day challenges me with, the happier I am.

Knowing that my core is always joy, means that life can toss me hard balls, surprises can appear, emotions can fluctuate, but they all get to move through me instead of being allowed to set up camp and festering in me.

It’s knowing that even on a gray day the
sky is always blue behind the clouds.

Cancer is something that happened for me, not to me and what has become abundantly clear is that life is what happens in the here and now and I consciously choose happy in each one of my moments. 

"Choose courage over comfort.
Choose whole hearts over armor.
And choose the great adventure of being brave and afraid at the exact same time.”

                                                                           - Brene Brown